Anger

Ever since we were little, we have always been told that anger was a bad thing—that it was the work of the devil. Hence, it would eventually lead us to hell. From this, we conclude that it was not okay to be angry no matter what the circumstances are. Being the naïve little kids that we were, we believed them. I know I did.

But I’m no longer naïve—at least not as naïve as I used to be. I have had lived this long to remain too naïve about the world around me. I know some would say that I haven’t ACTUALLY lived yet. Maybe not the way they define it, but I know I have in my own terms. And in the “little” time I have lived my life, my eyes have opened to the harsh and cruel reality. The kind of reality where anger exists and happens everyday.

Anger. I don’t know why people believe and why they made us believe that anger was such a bad thing. Right now, they may think that I am insane but I sincerely believe that it is not at all bad.

I believe that anger is a part of our human nature and rather than being too afraid to experience it, we should embrace it. After all, we can’t do much if we deny it all the time. By doing that, we would only be fooling ourselves.

I am angry this very minute and I don’t care what others would say because I know I have every right to be. I am angry at those people who make me feel guilty on the kind of life I choose to live! I am angry at those people who make me feel like I’m such a big disappointment! I am angry at those people who keep on nagging me on what I should and should not do! I am angry at those people who make me wish I were just dead!

I love those people and yet I can’t help but be angry at them. I don’t want to be angry at them. It hurts me as much as I know it would hurt them if they knew how much anger I have inside me. I just wish I could let it all out. I just wish I could talk it over with them.

But I know I can’t. It would only make matters worse than it already is. They won’t listen. They would just end up blabbing about the kind of person I have become and compare me with those people they think are “better” than me! I can’t help but wonder, what if I did the same with them? What if I compared them to those people whom I think are better than them? How would they feel? How would they react? Ha! I bet they would make my life hell! As if it isn’t hell right now.

I just want to scream my head off. I want to cry all these anger out. I want to break all the pens I can, but after that, I want to be certain all the anger I feel will vanish into thin air. Not really because anger is a “bad” thing, but because I don’t feel very comfortable on being angry at them. I’m scared that I might hate myself if I keep this anger much longer.

Anger, in itself, really isn’t bad. Perhaps what’s bad are the things people might do or think or say because of the anger they feel. It is okay to be angry as long as you know how to control it. As for me, I just write about it—the way I am doing right now. Hoping, wishing, and praying that somehow, it would help release all the anger dwelling inside me.

Tomorrow, after all, is a brand new day. Anything can happen.